#MeToo & Christian Concerts

The concert ended and everyone was leaving the venue. I realized I parked closer to the door than my friend did. So me being the nice southern girl I am, I offered him a ride to his car. This is a choice that I replay in my head all the time. I have asked myself did I ask for what came next. Did I invite this to happen?

            We are in the car. We are talking about the concert and how awesome it was. We talked about how weird it was that it was still not that many Black folks at this rap concert. Then we start talking about school and just life as I am driving him to his car. It really was far. His tone starts to change. More disengaged.

"Do I not give you enough Attention?": Talking about suicide in the Black family

I honestly do not think at that moment I wanted to die; however, I just wanted all of these feelings to stop and at that time it seemed like dying was the only way. I was trying to talk my cousin about these feelings, and that is a lot to put on someone who isn't that much older than you. Who probably has their own issues as well. He did what he thought was right, call my father to let him know. 

Updating your software

You know that feeling when you finished writing a paper and you have a sense of relief, then you remember you have to edit it. And the editing process seems to take forever. And sometimes after you literally only edit three sentences, you take a whole break. 

That is exactly what it feels like when you are making adjustments to your life. And as i set on the floor of my therapist office (yes, today I decided to sit on the floor it makes me feel more comfortable) me and him began to talk about the "edits" I am beginning to make to my life. I was (and am) exhausted from just the little changes I have begun to make, because let's face it making changes exhausting--especially when those changes are to your way of life. 

Let's Talk.......

For me, discussing my mental health with my partner was scary for a different reason. We had just started dating when I had been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder. To me, this diagnoses answered a lot of questions; however, to my partner, I knew it would most likely bring more questions. I had to sit for a while and sift through my feelings of what this would possibly mean for us--if I told him. I had to weigh the pros and cons of each option. And after I did this, I determined that the pros outweighed the cons in this situation. And because we had just started dating, if they decided they wanted to "leave" then now would be better than later. 

Setting the Bones

I viewed getting into therapy as life or death. I had previously struggled with suicidal thoughts before I was formally diagnosed, so I knew that if I didn't get the help I would most likely follow those thoughts. That was way scarier to confront than the thought of going to therapy. It really is humbling to realize you truly don't have a handle on your thoughts and you need some guidance with them. I had to realize that did not make me less of a person; however, it made me a stronger person. 

5 things I started doing to help fight my depression

In fact, I have been having to work extra hard to get over my current depressive state and be able to function. It is the end of the semester, which means I have quite a few deadlines. So with deadlines, I must be able to complete the task; meaning, a depressed Joy is not a productive Joy.  So I had to think of ways that would help with my personal depression and mood and so I hope these 5 things help you as well. (outside of going to therapy)

To the man that taught Batman how to drive....

But all jokes aside, my dad is a Black man from the Southside of Chicago. He is a Black man in America and he made it to Sixty years of age with good health! And as I am writing this, I am reminded of the recent Black-ish episode about Pop who turns 65 and they joke he is the oldest Black man in America. Let's face it, to be a Black male with no prison or arrest record in America is something the media would like to tell you doesn't exist, but we know it does. Oh, and I forgot to mention he is educated and employed. 

Broken Glass: When Disappointment Hits

I swept the glass up, and with it, my hopes and aspirations, and put it in the trash. I took my dog to the kennel for the night. I went to my favorite restaurant and ordered my favorite meal—tamales and queso. I went to Target across the street and bought some wine and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. I returned home, logged into my friend’s Netflix and set in the dark and began to binge watch Grey’s Anatomy.